Today was the BIG day!

Well I got through it Jordan's 6th Birthday! I can not believe that I have been a mom for six years and now three times over. It is CRAZY how fast it has gone. We had a great day we woke up and sang Happy Birthday like 6 times! I made Jordan anything she wanted for breakfast and it was Toast lol! Then off to school and work for me. I then took cupcakes to her class for their afternoon snack and she was so cute. She had on a purple crown and hugged me like ten times she got to pass out all her cupcakes to her friends and they all sang Happy Birthday! It was so cute. After I picked her up from school two hours later I made a daring trip to the grocery store (you have not learned patience until you have shopped for two hours with three kids in the grocery store lol) then it was home to make her favorite dinner TACOS. After that we had cake and she opened two of her many gifts a bathing suit and a Hannah Montana CD which she screamed when she opened! After her bath we layed in her bed and did our yearly routine of reading her baby journal ( I have one for each of the kids tha I started the day I found out I was pregnant with them and try to write at least every month if not more)! Her favorite part always is that she was at Mommy and Daddy's wedding in my belly :) so it has been a great day and I got through it only crying once! Now to plan her two parties on Saturday. Pray for me I will have 11 girls here doing makeup, nails, hair and lots of Hannah Montana music along with a moonwalk and snocones AHHHHHH!
Oh and I can not believe that it has been 10 years since Nathan and I started dating! I will never forget first meeting him while Jene and I were out walking seeing him and Chuckie smoking some stuff in his stolen car (from his dad). He had to have his friends drive it around the block while we talked because if they put it in park it would not start back up lol!! Then that night he said (famous words) "Why don't you page me later?" LOL!!!! He had me at page me! Our first date was to CJ Barrymores and the rest is history and there is lots to tell! I am so lucky to be with my soul mate and to have a great marriage with three beautiful babies.

I wonder what it was like back then

I had to take my mom to a funeral tonight for my Nana and Papa's good friends from their old neighborhood Mr. Faye (Fabian). I don't like going to funerals who does but before I would think well at least if they are older they have lived a life and have kids, grandkids and greats to pass on their legacy right? Well the older that MY grandparents get the more I do not agree with that. I think what it will be like when my grandparents are gone. It was really hard when I lost my grandpa slicker when I was 13 but I was young and now that I am older how will it be? My Nana and Papa have truly been our all of our family's strength. Think abour this my Papa lost his mom when was very young and his father could not take it so he left. Leaving my Papa and his sister to be raised by their uncles, and grandmother. My Nana lost her mother at the age of twelve (TWELEVE) she died in her arms and then her father died when she was 15 years old. She was then raised by her sister Angie and her husband Tony. Can you imagine all of sudden your sister and brother-in-law are your gaurdian for you and your younger sister and brother? Yesterday was 64 years that my great Nana has been gone that is a long time to not have your mom in your life. In a couple of days it will be 10 years that my ZIZI (my Nana's sister Angie) has been gone. My Nana is not doing well at all she has been really sick and seems so sad (which I can understand) but it is hard to see her this way. At this funeral my mom was talking to her friends that she grew up with and played with on her old street and it was so neat. I have my own memories of that street and to hear one man say his memory of my Nana and Zizi is the Sunday Pasta no matter what and the left overs on Wednesdays those are my same memories. And by the way she still does that every week for whoever wants to go to her house in our family she loves it! I am just praying that she get better and that I continue to have more wonderful memories of my 4 foot 9 inch Italian spitfire Nana because I am not ready for what is the inevitable. Don't be mad if you are in my family that I blogged about this because lets remember whose blog it is;)

I am Just now realizing I am becoming my mother

With every year of my kids lives there are new things to experience as a parent or new things I am realizing about me as a parent! I did have a really great mom even all the things that we went through growing up I have some really great memories. There were so many times I said to my mom " I will never say or treat my kids that way"! Oh are those words haunting me now lol! Here are some things I thought I would never say to my kids that I use oh about 2-3 times a day.........
-Because I said so or because I am the mom
-Do not look at me that way or wipe that look off your face
-Did you just roll your eyes at me (and they are just 4 and soon to be 6)
-If your bored than you can go clean your room
-I don't care if (enter friends name here) mom lets her you are not doing it
-Do you think I was born yesterday ( which at their age usually gets a laugh out of them)
-Do not make me call Daddy ( which if you know Nathan and his parenting they are probably thinking go ahead he will let me lol)
-Shape up
-No you can not have candy at 7am
And there are many more!!! It is so funny because when any of these things come out of my mouth I see my mom's face. My mom would always say oh you too will say these things to your kids and I never believed her

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Well these last couple of days have been just that but sooo much fun!! On Thursday we went (Mariana Sammy and I) to Sammy's future wife Lilah's 1st Birthday party and had so much fun! It was so nice to see all the mommies that I was pregnant with just a year ago! Lisabeth did a great job planning Lilah's first friend party Sundaes and all:)!! Then on Friday was Miss Vaghela's Kindergarten Mother's Day Tea and Jordan has been talking about this non-stop!! It was the most adorable little party and I cried through it too. All the kids were told to dress very nicely so the morning started with Jordan picking our her favorite dress (well if you know us it is her only dress I hated them growing up and I think I am passing that along) and then she had to pick our what she wanted me to wear as well :) She reminded me that I had to be there at exactly 1 4 5 so cute! I got there and waited with all the other Moms talking (well I listened as they talked to eachother) how excited all their kids were for this. Then Miss Vaghela told us to walk in one by one. I walked in and started crying she had Boys II Men's Mama song playing and Jordan came up and gave me a homemade rose and pictures were taken. Then we sat down and Jordan gave me her gifts that she made for me MORE TEARS! She painted a pot and planted some pink flowers, she also made and painted a clay rose, gave me Love coupons, a wonderful placemat that she colored on (also pointed out that she wrote her phone number on it lol), then the best was a book that she made filled out all about me with cute pictures on each page! I have to share what she wrote in her writing cause it is too cute:
My Mom looks like : A Ros bcus she is var pritey bcus she dus the lartry (Laundry) and she is my fravrit mom
I love my Mom because: She hlps me with my wrk
With my Mom, I like to: Play UNO and Playdow, and play chlk (chalk)
My Mom loves to: Mac Dinr for my sister and me and my daddy and my babey bruthr Sammy
I Know my Mom loves me because: She tacs care uv me
I seriously cried it was so cute and I just love her writing! Then they served us moms Ice tea and cake and they had Lemonade. Afterwards they got up and sang some songs it was too cute! Jordan was so cute the whole time and was very proud.
Then this morning My sister, My Mom and I went to the spa and had massages and went to Olive Garden it was so great! I actually suggested we all skip going home get a hotel and sleep :) It was a great day with them I feel so blessed to have the relationship that I do with them! My mom is such a great women and it was so cool to be out all three of us celebrating OUR day! We are planning to go next month on FATHER'S DAY lol!!!
Tomorrow more celebrating first to church and then to my cousin Kimmy's house who always puts on a great meal and get together for all the Moms in the family so you know it will be LOUD AND CRAZY!! I am so lucky to have the family that I do and I thank God everyday! So to all my Mommy friends and Family HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I thought I would have more time before having to answer these questions

Today after picking Jordan up I was feeding Sammy and we were all talking about the different things that God makes. Mariana starts to ask all the dreaded ?s. This is how our converstation went:
Mariana: Mommy how did Sammy get in your belly?
Me: Sammy is not in my belly (trying to dodge the actual ?)
Mariana: I mean when he was in your belly
Jordan: May God made Sammy and then put him in Mommy's belly when he was big right Mommy?
Me: (I didn't want to lie) Well no, God made Sammy while he was in my belly
Mariana: How did God get in your belly to make Sammy then?
Me: (laughing nervously) Well see God takes something from Mommy and then something from Daddy and makes the baby in my belly
Mariana: ok, but how does he get in your belly?
Me: Well because he is God he can do anything and he doesn't really go into my belly he just is able to form the baby in my belly.
Mariana: Oh..........ok!
I sighed a huge sigh of relief! I am so not ready for these ?s. I think I can handle the ?s a little more when the girls are older but how do I answer them at the age they are now! I have read that you are only to listen to what the exact ? is and answer only that but HOW!!! Please HELP ME if you have been through this stage already

Who will clean MY house???

I love my job really I do I have been blessed to be working just a couple of hours a week cleaning. It is great I get to be home more and volunteer in Jordan's class and all that fun stuff. But I am neglecting my own home BIG TIME! I try to keep up but I feel like I am scrambling to get things done at the end of the week to just look around on Sunday night and realize it doesn't even look like I cleaned!
Anyways on another note I did get a reply from my ex-stepsister (thats kinda weird) and I do not know why I thought she would write horrible things back to me it's not like we were the ones married and got divorced. It was a really nice email updating me on all of their lives. I could not believe how grown up she looked and how smart she is!! She is in her second year of Law school after already having a degree in a double history major!! I feel like it was God's perfect timing with this. When I was walking through CR (Celebrate Recovery) there were so many people that I felt I wanted to make amends with or even come into contact with but I never knew when the right time was. There was one friend that I was super close with growing up (you know who you are girl) and I wanted so bad to contact her but never knew the right time and because of random things and the help of myspace I was able to make amends with her a couple of months back! Now this time it was months of me obessively (SP?) searching online with Google, Facebook and Myspace and finally found her on Facebook! Maybe some of you don't understand this need to make amends maybe because you do not have anyone to make amends with or just don't understand the reasoning behind but it really fills a gap in me when I am able to do this! I know I am rambling but whatever it is my BLOG!!

Holding my Breath

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about how I was searching for my moms ex and his kids to see what they were up to. I have been googeling (sp?) them and going on myspace and facebook searching for them. I didn't have a plan if I found them just thought I could get a look from a distance to see how they looked, what they were doing with their life. It is weird because we were a family at one time. There was 7 of us kids it went Nikkie, Little Del,Me,Candace and Andrew (twins), Joey,and then Tony. It is weird when you have people in your life and then all of a sudden they are gone. I have many bad memories of Del that I have worked through but I have a lot of good memories of his kids that I called family. Vacations to Port Huron, and lots of craziness when they would visit on the weekends. Well I found Candace on facebook and I sent her a message that is why I am holding my breath. I wonder if she will respond and if she does what to I do with that hmmmmm........I wonder when I can exhale!!

Loving Life

I am having one of those days were I just have to praise God for everything!! I guess I should be doing that everyday but you know how it is some days it is all I can to get out of bed! I have soooo much energy today and I think it is because I had a LARGE mocha from Tim Hortons this morning!!
So on another note we have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks for a really good friend of mine from high school and we are so excited to get out!! How funny that we look forward to weddings as our date nights. I am making a big step and hiring a babysitter for the night. See I have ALWAYS used family because of bad experiences in my life with trusting other people I just felt that it was safe. So my cousin Eddie's girlfriend who loves our kids and the kids just LOVE her is watching them. I just hope I don't call her like 50 times to see how they are doing. Baby steps!! I am excited for this weekend we are having Mariana's old teacher Beth and her soon to be hubby for dinner and Mariana is soooo excited to have Ms Beth to her house! Then Sunday is a lazy day which we need. So have a great weekend and sorry if I just wasted your time with my BORING BLOG!!