Sunday, March 30, 2008

So Predictable

So every weekend Nathan rents movies (we are completely differeny he hates Reality TV and I LOVE it!!) so they always are movies that he likes of course. I get so mad because he will come home saying I got a movie for you and everytime it is an Action movie (not that I don’t end up liking the movie) or it is there were no other movies but this Action movie (RIGHT). Well every time I make the comment that his movies are so predictable. There is a bad guy and a good guy and then there is a woman who at first is either bad or the victum that the good guy is trying to save and everytime they fall in love. I call it everytime and Nathan hates it because I ruin it for him LOL!!
So tonight I have to go and pick up my sister from work at 1am and I needed to stay awake so we started searching through comcast on demand movies. I refused to pay for one that I did not pick out so I chose (if you have read past blogs you guessed it a chick flick) No Reservations with Catherine Zeta-Jones. I loved it!! It was the typical chick flick and I cried in the first 10 minutes and then a couple more times through out the movie I love a good cry. Well half way through Nathan turns to me and says SO PREDICTABLE!! I called the whole last half of the movie and I was dead on. The difference is that I love that type of predictable movie: Girl falls in love with a man she first dislikes, Then there is a fight and then a make up and then they get back together in a scene that makes me all googley eyed and smiling like a little girl!! I love it WHY???? I think because I can escape reality for a little bit not that I do not love my husband but to just pretend that I am a little girl watching a fairy tale pretending that that is how it is is a good feeling sometimes. I love my husband and though marriage is rough I love my life that God has given us. These movies always help me to remember how lucky I am to find the man that I know God had planned for me long before either of us were even born!!!

Friday, March 28, 2008

What does it say about me when I HATE those that are RACIST

Today I was taking my little sister to work and on the way we stopped at Starbucks for some coffee and on my way out of the parking lot a car went by with some guys sticking their heads out the window. I rolled my window down to try and hear what and who they were yelling at. What I heard was disgusting to me that even after 4 hours I am still very upset. In a accent that I am sure you can guess they were screaming "Can I have some chicken fried rice?" at an Asian man who was jogging. I glanced at this man and he had his head down. I really hate those that are so oblivious to others feelings. This is something that a friend of mine talk a lot about hate crimes and racisim. All kinds I can not stand towards the Gay community, Indians, Asians, African Americans, those who have disabilities. It seriously hurts me so bad like in my heart! I know that I am being all serious but this is something that in our country is out of control. At one point or another we were all a minority. I hear stories about what it was like for my family who were Italian here in Detroit they were called dirty and other horrible things.
I struggle so much with this because I really have anger towards people who are racist and I know that that is just as wrong. I need to have love towards everyone but I just can not understand why people think it is okay to make fun of those that are not white. God made us all different how sad a world this would be if we were all the same. I am glad that I live in a world with diversity (though here in the suburbs it is not so diversified) I just wish that there was not so much hatred here. I feel like I am to do something but what and where and how? This is something that everyday is on my heart. I do not want my children to be in a world where there is so much hate. And maybe that is what I can do to make a difference make sure that my children are not one of those boys hanging out a car window making racist comments to a man jogging down the street!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Very Excited

I love the Bachelor and am so excited that it is back! I know it is crazy and low of me but oh well. I think that it is crazy that these women throw themselves at a guy who is "falling in love" with how many other women at the same time. Well anyways the girls are in bed and I am loving that right now on ABC The Bachelor Where are they now? is on!! I get so stupidly excited when I see the ones who made it and are still together and I am very excited to see Trista and Ryan with their new baby! What can I say I am a total sucker for romance!!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

This year has gone by so fast

I am truly amazed that this year has gone by so fast. I feel like since we have had kids that the days go by so much faster. People always told me when I was pregnant with Jordan and really they still do that enjoy it now because it goes by so fast. People told me so much when I was pregnant that I remember telling one poor stranger to SHUT UP because I was really sick of it did people think that I would not savor every minute with my child. Anyways even after all that I still was not prepared for how fast it all goes by. Mariana just turned 4 and Jordan will be 6 I can not believe it. The most is Sammy who will be 1 years old soon. I think it is because when you have one child you can soak up everything that child does all day everyday taking pictures and video and watching everything cute they do. Then the second comes and depending on the age gap ours was 20 months you are chasing a toddler around cleaning up messes all day and feeling like all you do is say NO. Then the third comes and it really has been hectic around here. We started out with chaos Sammy going into the hospital ,me being in school when he was just 6 weeks old, Jordan starting kindergarten, the kids being sick all the time for the last 8 months straight, moving into our house, working full time then parttime then not working and then working some again. It has been CRAZY but I would not have it any other way. If it was not for my kids journals I would really feel like I missed it all. Poor Sammy has not had any professional pictures taken hardly any video and no baby album even bought! But by all means not loved any less. I really love being a mom I guess this blog was meant for me to write this way because I intended to go a different route with it but I think I needed to be reminded that it really is great. Today has been one of those days I have been running ragid for the last couple weeks and feel like I need a much needed break. Well I guess I answered my own question about where the year has gone :)
Oh and by the way Sammy FINALLY said Mama! I am loving it he says it all the time and it really is the best sound to ever come out of his mouth. Each one of your kids saying it for the first time made my heart melt and I still love hearing them all say it!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Letting go a little at a time

So since Sammy has been so sick since he was 4 months old he has been sleeping with us! I know it is a bad habit to start I have two other kids that did the same and it was not easy to break. So tonight I started the process of letting go. I put Sammy in his crib sang a song rubbed his back and left the room. He cried and not just a I am upset cry it was a ANGRY cry and I sat outside his door praying that he would never remember this night. After 15 minutes I went in and and without saying a word I rubbed his back and put music on and a night light after 15 minutes of this and him still crying and kicking his legs and throwing his arms around I picked him up. Immediatly he started hitting my chest to eat which is what he does to fall alseep. Well to be honest it is what he does still all day long every 3-4 hours still he is nursing. So I am proud that I started and I did not give in until my timer went off. So around 8pm tomorrow night if you remember pray for me because I will again be trying to let go a little more.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Things I can not stand

I am in one of those moods.
1. People who have little cliques that are for certain people only and then blogging that anyone else is not in it WHAT are we in high school???
2. SNOW!!!! I wish to move but I hate snakes and spiders and fire ants and lizards and alligators and well I guess I am saying that I would love to stay in MI but without the snow!
3. People who LIE!!! That should actually be number one.
4.People who tell me that I should not have my child outside in this cold weather since he has been sick so much! He was in so much clothing to keep him warm that I probably got him sick again for sweating outside!
5.People who think that since Nathan and I got married young and have our share of problems that we will not make it! Wake up people we have made it ten years through some pretty rough stuff and we are serious about our vows to God and eachother!
6.Just because we have missed church the last couple of months due to illnesses does not mean all of a sudden we are lost souls.
7.Just because we used to live in a trailor park does not mean we know nothing about having a home ( Lisabeth you know who that is a shout out to LOL)!!
8.People who JUDGE but then I have to be careful because I tend to JUDGE those that JUDGE HMMM!!!
9.Doing housework especially unloading the dishwasher!! I love grocery shopping so if anyone wants to trade jobs let me know.
10.Kwame Kilpatrick. Obama (sorry those that are his supporters). Prejudice people (prejudice of all kinds). Germs.
Anyways now that I have that off my chest I feel a little better. I could probably list a ton more but a certain baby needs to be nursed!!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

I never dreamed that this would happen

I have been so blessed these last couple of months to be able to be there for my sister who is on bed rest! I have been able to serve her on a level that I never thought I would! If you knew us back then believe me we faught bad! I mean fist fights, I knocked her tooth out (she says on purpose but really it was an accident), punched and kicked many a holes in the walls,spit,hit and anything else you can think at eachother! We were ruthless and everytime that I would be sobbing because of a fight my mom would say in her most motherly voice "One day Mariana,you and your sister will be bestfriends"! I thought hell no will I be friends with that B****! Sorry that is how I was. Well then I grew up and so did she and things are obviously different!!
My sister really has been there with me through so much it seriously is making me cry right now! She even then helped me through some things that I can not say due to some people in my family who are on myspace and do not know (per my moms request) and through my court trial and then when we found out we were pregnant with Jordan. She was my maid of honor in our wedding and her and my cousin Kimmy came through when our cake lady backed out 1 month before our wedding (we planned a wedding in two months). She was there knocking and knocking and knocking every 15 minutes asking if Jordan was here yet. She did all she could for us when our little Mariana was born two and half months early. She literally bought the most diapers I have ever seen in my life for us LOL!!! She has always supported us through our hard times and has always been there for the good times!
Okay enough of the sappy stuff. I went to her house today with my mom and helped go through all of Nolan's clothes for when he comes and it was so much fun. I am so excited for him to be born!! It was so cool to be with my mom and my sister and having so much fun. We all have so much in common and who would have thought that I would be giving my OLDER sister advice in parenting.
I can honestly say that when Mariana comes to me in the years to come sobbing because her and Jordan are in a fight I can say in my most motherly voice "One day you and Jordan will be best friends I promise"!! So for once I will admit that my mom was RIGHT!! My sister and I are truly friends and she is about the best that I will ever have I love it and feel so blessed to have her in my life!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I do not know what I feel

I am concerned for little Sammy! I know that the doctor's say that he could have the runs for up to a week but he is not himself! He has already lost so much weight and I am back to counting the wet diapers and praying I do not have to take him back to the hospital! Oh for those of you that do not know Sammy was admitted to the hospital for dehydration. He has been so sick since 4 months old and I am getting sick of it. I know everyone says I do not know how you do it and all but I do not know either oh yeah I do GOD! but I am starting to loose it I am worrying and I know all the stuff please don't tell me becuase I say it all day long. I just hate when our kids are sick and poor little Sammy does not seem to be getting better! Anyways I am so grateful to have such a great church family! How awesome is God that he provided some meals for us for the next week from girls that go to our church! We truly are so blessed to have such great friends thanks all