Life worth living

So I will be 30 in exactly 5 days 9 hours and 32 minutes!!! Crazy how a couple years ago I thought people who were 30 looked old lol now people who are 30 are really young :) I have had a list of things I wanted to do before I was 30 and not one thing is really crossed off that list. I mean I have done lots of things in these last 10 years that I am really proud of most importantly being married and having 4 beautiful kids! I am speaking of small things that I have always wanted to do but always seem to chicken out. But I am taking a deep breath and I am determined that at the end of my birthday month (that's right I celebrate the month minus the 9th which is Mariana's bday and the 15th which is my mother in laws bday) I will post the first thing that will be crossed off my list!! So excited and nervous all at the same time!! and like my cousin Kim said I will be 30 the whole year so I have exactly 372 days 9 hours 24 minutes and 35 seconds to cross things off my list!

White as Snow

I am amazed at how fitting it is that we have lots of snow today! It is like in Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, let us argue this out," says the LORD. "No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool." This verse is exactly what I needed today along with this snow. Today is a new day one that is going to be remembered on the calendar as the day that our lives took a shift for the better. I know God has amazing plans and he is going to do amazing things with our family. These last couple of weeks I have become closer to God than I ever thought possible. It took something happening for me to open my heart completely to God and tell him whatever it took I would be willing. It has been really hard but I am learning to take all my thoughts captive and allowing God to change and mold me into what I am supposed to be. I am in awe once again at what he has done in me and what I know he will continue to do. I feel so blessed that I serve a loving God that loves me so much that he takes his time with me and shows me things they way I need to see them to understand. God doesn't show anyone something the same way because he knows us better than we know our selves if that sentence even makes sense to me it does lol. I am learning so much about who I am and who I want to be that it is only God in me working that can explain it. I am praying today that as I take this step I remember that "in my weakness he is strong".
I am so happy all of this is happening before my BIG 3-0 in 18 days!!!!!

Playtime

My son is so smart it cracks me up. I was making lunch and he starts telling me how he loves all of his old junky matchbox cars because they are so fun to play with. After lunch he asks me to play with him so he gets out all of his cars. He starts setting up all the cars and tells me in such a sweet voice "Here mommy I will let you play with the junky ones..remember those are my favorite"!

Can't Shut Up

I know I post all the time about music but today it is what is getting me through the tough stuff!! So I am all about listen to Anthem Lights again!! I know boy band but they are all about Christ and spreading the word of God to those that need it and those that need the encouragement and each song either brings me to tears, raising praise to God or wanting to jump around and that is all the things I need today!! So here is their song Can't Shut Up Last night was Jordan's first sleepover and if you know me and my past then you know for me to allow that is huge!! It was all God that I did not freak and call every couple hours to see if she is ok..it helped that the P family is so amazing :) So because Jordan was there I decided to do something special with Mariana and we decided to go on a date. Nathan usually does the dates with the girls so I have never done just one of them and myself that didn't include shopping of some type. So I told her we could go to a real restaurant for dessert. My mom watched Sam and Issy for me and off we went to IHOP lol. We had a great waiter who I think was amazed at my Mariana's manners :) we bother ordered and when the bill came i saw kids eat free! We had a blast talking and drawing and talking and talking and talking (talking is what you do best if your name is Mariana). Then when we left she had a giggle fit and told me this was the best day of her whole life except when she goes to church because that is all about Jesus! She is so precious and I was so thankful to have that time. When we came home Sam, Mariana and I had a coloring contest and a little sleepover of our own! When we said our prayers Mariana thanked God for giving us enough money to have a date and for the waiter giving kids their food for free ;) I believe that God has prepared me and my kids for what we are walking through right now and even though I am sad at times I am in awe of what God does for me...again I say it ME!! Today was a bunch of up and down emotions when finally I got the kids their lunch and sat down by myself and just prayed and wrote. I feel like this time we are walking through is going to be what makes the rest of our lives and teaches us that praising God in the storm is soooo worth it. I can not believe that in just a little over a month Nathan and I will be married for 10 years! That is huge and I am excited to celebrate that with him and I am very aware that if it were not for God in our life than we would not be married again. I have some people right now that you might want to call haters lol but I am going to push them to the side and take all my thoughts captive and give them to GOD.

New Year...New beginnings...New School

Yesterday was the girls first day at their new school. I left work to pick them up and take them to karate. Jordan had a very hard day :( she cried the whole way to karate. She said that her teacher kept asking her if she knew things and she didn't so she felt very embarrassed. She said that she played at recess by herself. I cried (although I tried not to) but I told her that sometimes kids her age are scared to ask someone new to play with them because what if she said no? I told her that we will just keep praying and in a couple days things will be better. Once we left karate she had her confidence back and was smiling and happy!
Mariana on the other hand met two friends and loves her class! She said that no one played with her right away at recess but once she ran around a little some little girls came up to her to play :)
There are a lot of things happening in our lives right now and although I am usually an open book right now I am learning to keep my mouth shut :) So I am leaning into God more than ever right now and it is amazing at the things he is doing through others. The girls needed school supplies and two family members helped out with that and we were able to get some food from our church which was a huge help. That night Mariana said her prayers and thanked God for her two aunties that gave us money for supplies and for our church so we could have some food. I love that my kids understand that it is God who is really providing things and I pray that through their eyes I am able to remain thankful and see Gods love too! Childlike faith is amazing!!
A friend of mine said that when her son was having trouble at recess she told him to talk to God as his friend so I passed that on to Jordan this morning and I am going to pray extra hard for her today.
This morning when I dropped them off Marianas new little friend passed me a note and it was an invitation for Mariana to go to Church with her!! I think that this little friend is perfect for Mariana because they are both good little witnesses :)
So this first week of the new year has been one of the toughest of my life it has also been one of the best. It is only because of God that I am able to have the peace and joy that I have right now. GOD IS SO GOOD!!

Sammy's Prayer

Last night while putting Sammy to sleep he wanted to pray..So I started praying for everyone in our family and then he says" and for Daddy and China"! So I guess Jesus put the all of China on Sammy's Heart <3