Monday, May 25, 2009

Need to take a break

Well things are CRAZY! They always are around the Cather's house. I feel like things always are with me like God is always trying to get my attention and say "see I am here and know what I am doing"! Well this weekend that happened which means for the next couple of weeks I have to look to him. We had something major happen this weekend and I tried calling a couple of people to talk to them but no one answered. Does that ever happen to you? I felt like God was trying to tell me that I needed to come to him first. So I did I prayed and prayed about the situation and he brought scripture to mind that calmed me then LBs phone finally worked and we talked. She told me everything that an amazing friend would (and my husband already told me but we all know that we take advice better from our good girlfriends lol) and even had me laughing at the end of the conversation. I know that God has the blue prints for our life already and they are better than anything that we ourselves could even dream of planning. I just have to remember that what ever he puts in our lives to trust that he knows what he is doing (I believe many times I have thought I could have done it better lol) and that he will never leave us alone. That is what I think I miss that he is always with us. A couple of weeks ago our kids in church got some neon shoelaces to put in their shoes to remind them that if they thought that they were alone standing up for something that they believed in then they were to look down at those and know that God is with them. I think I need to ask Brenda if I can have some!!! I might take a couple weeks off from blogging then I will be back and explain all of this madness when I can!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sorry

Well I just finished moving all my blog entries from my old myspace blog to here and it took me a really long time. Funny thing is Nathan called me because he kept getting all of them emailed to his phone lol!! So sorry to all of you who are on my automatic email because I think you probably got at least 30 emails from me!!

I did this because I had to delete my myspace page but I would loose all of my blogs and there are too many memories there to just delete them. Well they are here incase you did not read them then so you can go back ENJOY!!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Books

So I have been reading a lot lately. When I say a lot I mean like in one week I read 4 books and started the 5th!! I love reading so much and right now I am reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan which is amazing. I love watching the chapter videos on www.crazylovebook.com but the book is bringing me into a new awareness of God's love for me and how much in awe I am of him and what he is. I have had a couple of days kid free and today and tomorrow are my last two and I have made a commitment to not turn the TV on and just read and pray. I have stuck to that I read the bible, Crazy Love and then write in my journal and just pray sitting in God's presence. It has helped me so much with things that are going on right now. God has given me so much clarity in some of these issues and it feels so good to be going down the right path now.I feel like God has used this time for me to focus on him and grow. I just struggle now to find the time when the kids are home with me and that is going to be everyday come Thursday. Well I know that God will work it out.
Speaking of reading I am going to go outside and enjoy this weather and read!!!

Music

Well music has played a huge role in my life I literally would lock myself in my room for hours and just listen to music. I would record songs write all the lyrics down memorize them and pick them apart until I understood the meaning of them. I would always listen to songs that would relate to what I was going through like when I was depressed I would listen to songs that I would just cry and cry but when I was happy I would listen to upbeat music and sing at the top of my lungs and dance around. Whenever I needed a break of any kind music was there for me. When I first started looking for a church music was huge I visited some churches that were too much and some that literally there was no sound to drown out my horrible attempt at singing. When I walked into Rockpointe almost 8 years ago there were many things that just made me feel at peace (the holy spirit, the community, the feeling of come as you are) but the music drew me in. At first people raising their hands to sing freaked me out but I liked that there were some people that did not do that and some people who clapped and some who did not. I will never forget the first song I ever sang there it was:
EVERY MOVE I MAKE
Every move I make, I make in You You make me move, Jesus.Every breath I take, I breathe in You.Every step I take, I take in You You are my way, Jesus.Every breath I take, I breathe in You.
Waves of mercy, waves of grace Everywhere I look, I see Your face Your love has captured me.
O my God, this love, how can it be?

Every time I hear it it reminds me of that first day that I really felt Jesus welcoming me into his family. I was saved years before that but this was the first time that I had hope that I would know Jesus the way I read. I started buying Christian Cds and only listening to that music because it brought me up never did it bring me down and when I was sad I would listen to it and immediately I would feel Gods presence. I am now one of those that raises their hands in church and claps their hands but not to make a statement but because I can relate to the words that I am singing and I love to worship God.
All this to say that a while ago Nathan got an MP3 player and I have tried over and over to get some christian songs on there are have not found a good site to get them from. Today I did!!! I am so excited I am going to go for a walk right now and listen to all my songs that I just downloaded on Walmart's Mp3 site with a gift card I got a while ago!!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

My Weekend

This weekend was great. As with my birthday I always stretch it for at least 2 weeks (I try a month but it doesn't always work) this year I had a Mother's Day Weekend! On Saturday I did the MS walk (3.2 Miles) with my cousins and it was a blast. I raised $200.00 which was pretty good but my cousin Kim raised $860 on her own!!! The coolest part was there was supposed to be 6 of us raising our goal of $1000 but two of us did it and beat our goal $1060!! I have to say that I am now looking forward to the 5k run for Breast Cancer. I have been walking 2.5-3 miles with Nathan and am going to start running it with in the next week to get ready. This will be my third time doing this race. The last time was I think two years before Jordan was born so it has been a while. I love running and am excited to be back outside and have my thoughts to sort through. Anyways when I got home Nathan let me take a nap ( I was up at 5am to get to Frankenmuth by 8am) and then he made an amazing dinner. Chicken Kabobs and seriously they were the best yet. Then he helped get the kids to bed and we had a really relaxing evening together.
Sunday was great I got to sleep in and everyone made me some pancakes and brought them to my room (Sammy ended up digging in and destroying them with his hands but that is okay). It was very sweet and the girls talked about it all day. We then went to my Nana and Papa's house for a BIG BBQ that my Cousin Kim always puts on for the Moms. She did great she made sure that everything that we ate was gluten free so that my Nana did not feel left out and then she gave us all Canvas shopping bags with seeds (oregano for me), a reusable water bottle, and a Going Green for Dummies book. It was so much fun. We got home and Nathan cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom for me!! It was so great and I do have to say that I am very lucky that I have a husband who humors me when I stretch out my special holidays and goes along with it. Because he knows that I would laugh if he tried to stretch his out lol!!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

DaZeD

I am in a little bit of a daze. I need to bring myself back in to full time mommy mode and it is a struggle for me. I know that this is where i am supposed to be because I see where the need is right now especially with my middle. She is struggling with numerous things and I need to take a delicate but firm approach and I have a feeling that this summer is going to be challenging. I think I need to start with spending some time with her in the bible and reading to her and having her memorize a easy verse with me. I think that this will help her she loves God already and she goes around the house singing songs about God all the time. She is the typical middle child I think and I am that as well I always said growing up that I will show favor to my middle because I was so deprived (ha ha ha ha). I feel bad because my oldest gets attention since she is in school now bringing big things home and doing concerts and field trips and Sammy is so jealous whenever the girls even try to come close to me that I feel like Mariana gets lost. I work really hard to make sure obviously that she does not but I feel like I am failing her some how. I know before I have said that no matter what we do we must all face the truth that someday our kids are all going to need therapy but I would rather it be because of Nathan and not me JUST JOKING!!!!
Well on another note thank you to those that donated because now we have almost $600 and that is a lot closer than we were. GO TEAM TAG GIRLS (even if it is just two of us now)!!!!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

More Begging

Please if you can click on the title above it will take you to our team site and donate money to the MS Foundation. My goal was $500 and I have $125 I have tried really hard to collect as much as I could including hand writing(because I do not have a printer) some flyers and placing them around my neighborhood. I really would like to do this. My cousin and I are doing the walk on Saturday so this is my last chance to raise the money. You can go to the site that is listed above or you can email me at cathersmariana@comcast.net and I will send my address and info to you so you can mail a check in. Thank you so much and please please please help out. As you can see I am not above begging!!!!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Small Glimpses

Well as always lots has happened and I am not wanting to go into all the details of the mess that followed quiting my job and the emotional mess that I became but know that things are getting better. I took all the kids to school today (because I already gave a two week notice to daycare so why not give myself a break before the summer right??) and came home and started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I then had to go pick up my Little sister and ended up praying in the car before getting her and just in tears while praying. I came home and spent over an hour reading the bible and praying. I want to get back to having an amazing relationship with God again. I miss who I used to be and I a excited to get glimpses of me. I plan on taking the two days this week and the two next week just in God's presence no TV just reading the bible, praying and journaling (blogging too). I know that this will help me to get myself on track. I am excited for things that are coming our way. We started our small group on Sunday and I am really excited for this and the relationships that will come of it.

On Sunday Pastor Randy was talking about how we forget that our identity is in Christ not in our roles as a wife,mother,coworker and though I know that a lot of people can relate to this but I felt like Randy was talking to me directly. This is something that I struggled with at work especially with everything that has recently happened. I think that God the last couple of days has reminded me of this that not only is my identity in him, but my reputation will be protected and the truth always comes out. I also know that even though I know that things will come out it will be in his timing and may not look like I think it will. I am just so excited for this change that is going on.