It has been awhile

It has been awhile since I have last blogged and I really miss it. I am realizing that even my journal has been placed on the back burner and I can not do that. I have to remember to take care of myself as well. We are crazy busy from now until July and then from August until middle of September so I need to get used to this. I have picked up more hours at work and it is really hard to get used to that. Having four kids is a full time job so add one extra day and one longer work day into the mix and I am working overtime. I have to say it is a good thing I work at such a great place and for that I feel really blessed. I will post some pictures in the next couple of days of all the kids and their summer activities. Sammy is doing T-ball for the first time and is so cute. Nathan gets to assist and sometimes coach so they are having their male bonding time lol. His last game the other teams coach nicknamed him "the Hoover" because he was sucking up so many of the balls. He is the smallest on the team but so darn cute :) Jordan is doing great in Karate she will be working towards her green belt this next month and we are really proud of her. She loves and is taking it very seriously it helps that her Uncle B is her sensei and I think she loves have a special bond with him and showing him her best :) Mariana will have her first Soccer game of the season tomorrow afternoon and is very excited! Soccer is exactly what she needs to get some of her energy out. I feel like we are being pulled in all directions lately but I know that this will only get crazier when a certain 2 year old gets older and wants an activity of her own. I have been doing a challenge to memorize 2 verses a day and I can not believe I am actually doing it and remembering what I have read. I am not as far as the rest of those who took the challenge because once we got to the verses that were longer I struggled but I would rather take the time than rush and the book of James is probably the best book for me to start it during this time of my life. God is doing amazing things even amidst the hard times and I have to remind myself that he has a plan so much bigger than my own. I am learning that when I am feeling overwhelmed and upset I need to voice my feelings and not push them down and give it to God. For so many years I had the attitude of "why do I have to be the one to change..or its not fair...or I don't care" the funny thing is that I was causing myself more stress and anxiety when I thought that way. I have realized that if I rise above and change my thinking and the way I portray my feelings then everything else around me is so much better. That the people who were causing me stress most of the time end up leaving me alone because they don't like the new me or they see that I am not getting upset so they don't have to either. It is so freeing to be responsible for my own actions and not try to control other people because I can not and why would I want to live my life with a bunch of puppets? One last thing I was in a women's group in the fall and we were reading the book Captivating(which by the way is an amazing book click on the title of the book and it will take you to the amazon page). Well our leader had us write a love letter to God, seal it and stick it in our bibles and promised that God would just lead us to it one day when we needed it. Well so very true because a couple weeks ago I opened my bible and it fell out and I knew I was supposed to read it...I might share it one day but all I can say is that everything I asked for..my heart to be softened..to feel the love from God again...to have peace and joy...has all been happening lately! God is so amazing and I know I always say it but I am in awe of his love for me again and again.