Yup I am back to my old self

I knew my insomnia would be back in time and it is 101am and I am WIDE awake :) When I find a band I like I become totally obsessed...My new kick Anthem Lights ! Seriously click on the name of the band and listen to some of their songs!!! AMAZING!!
Anyway,I am in a place right now that is a bunch of ups and downs but God is in it all. I need to feel all the emotions that are going on right now so I accept it. I have been writing more in my journal and its more of a prayer to God and each entry is like 10 pages (I will need a new book in about 2 weeks at this rate) and it is really helping me work through all of my emotions and as usual praying for others will always make me feel better. I really feel like Gods timing is always on and when I say always I mean always :). In every BIG event in my life if I really look back maybe a month or two before God prepared me for it with either an encounter with someone or with another event. This season right now has had many of those moments that without my faith in God what would I think about my life?? Failure? Hopeless? worthless? Stuck? lonely? unloved? and as I write this it brings me to tears because I could easily think all of those things but instead my faith brings me right back to God and his love for ME..ME this person who really if you know my story (and maybe one day I will have the courage to post my entire 2word story) has messed up pretty bad on numerous occasions. He loves me so much that he plans everything ahead of me and each event has a purpose. If you want to argue this with me I am good at that I can show you exact points in my life that he put someone in my path that only made sense months later when something happened. So to think that there are people out there that really do feel those words and don't have that faith to lean on makes me cry. I have had to learn that people think its weird to tell your whole life story the minute you meet them but I feel like I can not hold in what God has done for me and continues to do for ME on a daily basis. His love is unchanging! unfailing! as far as the east is to the west! and he casts my sins away never to be found! So my words have to be LOVED! HOPE! MOVED! because he loves me no matter what which gives me hope to move towards the life he has for me!!